Why Movies Suck

So it’s been almost five years since I last ranted about this topic. But recent developments have forced me to reevaluate my own attitude towards the entire movie-going experience.

It’s no secret that I go to a lot of movies. But I used to enjoy them a lot more than I do now, and it took reading my friend John’s recent essay, as well as the imminent birth of my first child in a month or two, to realize that I probably don’t enjoy going to the movies enough anymore to justify continuing the practice.

If I could sit down with an executive from one of the big studios in Hollywood and have a conversation, what would I say? Five years ago I probably would have berated him for his industry’s lack of creativity — sequel after sequel, CG-laden eye-candy with no semblance of a plot — the Hollywood well was running pretty dry.

But today, I would have just one question for him. I would look him directly in the eye and tell him to convince me why I should continue paying $6-$8 per ticket (yeah, I know I’m lucky to live in the midwest, ticket prices are even more insane elsewhere) plus gas to get to the theater, foregoing concessions that have long since surpassed any reasonable pricing scheme, and tolerating boisterous and rude audience members (which I have never actually done anyway), all the while resisting the urge to get up and go to the bathroom so I did not miss any of the movie, and ignoring my own home theater (which may not be world class, but certainly isn’t anything to sneeze at either). Yes, I would look him in the eye and ask him why I should continue to endure all of that?

Any studio executives reading this care to take up my challenge?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

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